Day of Fear and Loathing  

Posted by Elysabeth Williams

When exactly do birthdays morph from being the happiest day of your life to the day of fear and loathing? I haven't quite figured it out but I'm pretty sure it was around my 30th birthday. Birthdays have, up to that general point, have been happy. I don't know what prompted the change but now I actually dislike my birthday. They're full of disappointment and failed expectations. They're full of mortality and 'have not's."

Of course, I'm not as emo as all; I'm happy to be here, happy to have decent health, happiness, loving children, wonderful husband... but dammit. I'm another year older. "Over the hill." haha. It's not fucking funny. I don't believe it ever was, and I sincerely apologize to all who I've ever uttered that despicable phrase.

And on the subject of presents: At some point it turned from beautifully wrapped presents thought ahead of time while surrounded by loving family and friends, to a gift bagged present still thought of ahead of time (even if it was the day of) and where do you want to go out to eat, to a gift card and now... to an email, a phone call, and "Hey what do you want for your birthday?"

Fuck you, birthday.

This entry was posted on Monday, July 06, 2009 at Monday, July 06, 2009 . You can follow any responses to this entry through the comments feed .

2 comments

Yeah, I think Jeff's general disinterest has infected my birthday as well. Friends make it a fun time, usually, but it is not as expected.

July 6, 2009 at 12:55 PM

Cheers... you said it perfectly. I was just thinking the same this morning as my doom's day is waiting for me at the end of this month. My 31st and it's the first time I've ever been "Oh, c-r-a-p.. it's my birthday. Yay, not."

July 14, 2009 at 12:59 PM

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