Dh's surgery went well. He's home and resting, though I'm not sure how much rest he's actually getting since the rest of us have the galloping-never-getovers.Who planned for us all to get sick at the same time as his surgery? I didn't order that.

It's been interesting to see how we (the girls and I,) interact while he's hanging out. There's lots of noise and mess making, and he's usually at work, so he's a little out of his element. Now he's in the middle of it and it's kind of humorous. Though at one point today, he decided to teach quarter pint how to say "Redrum." I counteracted that with putting the BK "New Moon" crown on her head. Now we're equal on the creeped-out-ness.

So now I'm staring at my abandoned edits wondering when I'll be able to get back to them. They're so lonely. But I'm so desperately full of snot and tiredness. 

I'll get there.. eventually.

This time last year, my Mom died of pneumonia very quickly and left us all in shock. This year my husband will have four vertebrae fused in his neck and will be unable to work for at least six weeks and will not be able to drive for four to eight months. We're all stressed out around here, but trying to stay sane and enjoy the gearing up of the holiday season. The surgery hasn't happened yet and I'm already at wits' end.

Incidentally, he will be having the surgery on the same day my mother died.

When I remembered I was freaked out.

Then I had to remember something a very wise woman told me in June of 2001;
"Don't let one day cast a shadow on someone's entire life. One day out of many does not define who they were." On June 20, 2001, my then fiance (the wise woman's oldest son,) died in a car crash. I was stuck in a haze for years.

On June 20, 2007, my youngest daughter was born. A day that was once nightmarish to me became one of the most blessed days of my life.

Now, I remember December 10, 2008 as the day I held my breath when I heard the words said by my sister, "she passed." While I remember it on December 10, 2009, I'll be driving to another hospital to hold my breath again.


So as I'm sitting here self absorbed, pissed off at the world and thinking everyone is paying attention to only themselves, I'm interrupted by a squeaky "yeehaw" from the other side of the room.

I look up from the computer to see my precious child who was born on what was the worst day of my life, riding a stick horse with a cowboy hat saying "yeehaw."


I'm okay again.